The societal experiment of Straight White Patriarchy is not our best option.
For centuries, the default operating system of society has been failing the vast majority of people. This is my blog. This is how I see it. If you already want to fight me, you are most likely a straight white male or your sense of security and purpose are closely tied to one. I get it. Owning your privilege isn’t comfortable. The societal framework that you were born into gave you an advantage that other people do not get. You can be mad at me for pointing it out. Being mad about facts doesn’t change them.
Our institutions, economies, medical research, leadership norms, many religions, and even our definitions of success have been based on a “straight white men first” view. This works really well if you are one. Not so much if you are not. Straight White Man with Money? This society was built for you. Yep. Just you. What will you do with it? Here is what it has done so far:
Patriarchy, as a system, prioritizes hierarchy, competition, self-first prioritization, extraction (wealth and power hording), and control. While these traits have potentially managed to produce innovation and progress in some ways, they have created far more fractures:
- Gender inequality.
- Racial inequality.
- Workplace burnout.
- Environmental degradtation.
- Political polarization.
- Rape culture.
- Undervalued critical work (underpaid care workers – far too many people suffering)
- A capitalist society that is about to devour everyone not at the top before it eventually devours them too.
This is not sustainable.
AND, to be clear, this is not a man-bashing. Patriarchy isn’t a man. Patriarchy is a system and it isn’t failing because men are failing. It is failing because any system built on imbalance eventually collapses under its own weight. Today’s men were born into a system that already existed for generations. They were born into a world that works best for them. It is impossible to see the color or your own eyes without the help of reflection. It is harder for them to see another way to do this and even harder to see how it would be beneficial to them…and yet, it would.
The experiment is nearing the tipping point. The patriarchy is on fire. The wider the gap becomes between the haves and the have nots, the more people are waking up. And I am here for it. 100%.
So, if not this, then what? What do we do instead? I’m glad you asked. I believe that the healing we need looks more like a rainbow matriarchy. Yes, I am aware of how silly that sounds but hear me out.
I am not talking about flipping the hierarchy or replacing one dominance structure with another. I am talking about the exploration of how different values, priorities, and leadership styes might shape a more balanced and civil society. I want a world where everyone is valued and belongs; where we don’t sacrifice any chance of a healthy, harmonic future for the planet and all that live here by making selfish, harmful choices today.
The rainbow includes all colors. All abilities. All genders (yes, ALL genders, mind your own identity and stay out of people’s personal gender business already).
A true matriarchal society isn’t the mirror opposite of patriarchy (this is not Barbieland versus Kendom). It’s not women ruling over men. A true matriarchy includes everyone:
- Collaboration being valued over competition
- Care and community being valued as economic assets. Elders, children, and those with special needs would be cared for.
- More diplomacy, less militarization. Matriarchal societies don’t kill each other’s children for power, land, or ego.
- Prevention over punishment. This includes community accountability instead of purely punitive “justice”. The fractures of Patriarchy are at the root of most crime. Desperate people do desperate things. As the power and wealth get distributed to the few, and basic resources disappear to the masses, survival takes precedence over the rule of law – especially when the laws are stacked in favor of those with the wealth and power.
- Long-term thinking guiding policies and investments. Multi-generational leadership models and decision for a better future for people who haven’t even been born yet. That’s a true legacy.
- Emotional Intelligence being recognized and honored as a leadership strength
- Shared power instead of rigid heirachy. Patriarchy was never designed for everyone to thrive. A more balanced model that honors care, community and shared leadership – which absolutely includes men too – makes more sense.
Historically, matriarchal or matrilineal societies consistently have themes of balance, reciprocity, and collective well-being at their core. Holistic leadership that includes empathy, collaboration, adaptability look normal in a matriarchy.
Matriarchy, again, is not about women dominating. It is an integration of all members of society with balance, collaboration, care, sustainability and shared power at the core.
I choose the Rainbow Matriarchy. Today. I am not waiting and expecting it to happen on the hope that this is what rises from the ashes once this unsustainable system burns down.
What is at the end of the Rainbow Matriarchy? A shared pot of gold and a welcoming hug. No, really. That’s what it would feel like.
